Birth or birth control, it’s your choice.

How many times have you heard prominent personalities and people you know say, “The most important job any woman can have is being a mother”? How many times have you heard someone slapping back at that statement with a “Heck No” or a flying stiletto? Unfortunately, in a world that looks like it’s shifting towards a new era of women empowerment and inclusivity, the former scales up. And even if that’s hands down the most non-inclusive statement one can belch out of their patriarchal mouth, it is still being said to a woman somewhere while you read this. Don’t you feel the conversation around birth and birth control deserves to be more inclusive than that? Us too. Big time.

Being a mother or bringing another human into this world isn’t anything short of respectful and strong, but in no way does it define our worth as women. Our lives can and do revolve around a lot of things other than babies. Women either choose not to reproduce or can’t because of several factors; whatever the reason is, why are they made to feel that they are missing out on an   essential part of life? And more so, why are such questions mostly directed to a woman? When was the last time you heard a man claim, “I am a working father”?

You can find happiness and contentment in different aspects of your personal and professional life. As long as you are happy with who you are and what you’ve achieved, you should be celebrated for just being. So, the next time you think of being hard on yourself because you and your partner are sans a bebé, remember this:

Just because you are a certain age, or all of your friends are getting pregnant doesn’t mean you have to. Read that again. Don’t allow the pressures of those around you to make you cave in if having a kid isn’t something you want.

Prioritize what you want in your life. What is the most important thing to you in the present, at this very moment – school, degree, adoption, pets, career, you? Focus on it. It is A okay to put yourself, your body and your needs above everything else. Dreams and aspirations can come before a family if that is what you want.

Life is what you make of it, and just because you can reproduce in no way means that you should. Where you pin your happiness is not a matter of identity or fate. It’s your choice.